When I was pregnant my husband and I dug up a ton of bulbs from my great aunt Helen's house, she is an amazing gardener and wanted to share some of her overflow. Last year they didn't do much, a quick bloom and then dead, and being the delinquent gardener that I am, I left all of the dead blooms and stems to rot on the ground over the winter. So as I am pointing things out to my little one, I decided to pull off all of the debris from last year. Underneath was new growth, strong vibrant little buds poking up, searching for the sunshine.
Growing up in the greenhouse business, it was not a surprise for me to see this, I expected it, but my 16 month old looked at me surprised, as if she was asking me "what is that mom?" I explained to her that each year these flowers grow, then they go to sleep underground for the winter and wake up again when the weather is warm. Not that she understood anything I was saying, but it ended up being symbolic to me. It was a reminder that even when things seem dark and dim and dreary, there is something good happening under the surface. There is new life ready to emerge. It actually reminded me of when I met my husband. When we first met, I was a blooming happy flower, full of life and energy. When my dad got sick, I began to wilt, and after his death, I felt like I died too. I was covered in my dead leaves and searching for the sunshine. My husband brought spring to me, he cleaned off the dead debris and helped me see the sun and eventually to bloom again. I know it was not easy for him, but he stuck it out, and never gave up. I am so grateful to have found such a wonderful man, and now to have such a wonderful family.
I needed to have this reminder and this moment of clarity, I have been feeling buried lately, and I am again on a journey searching for the sunshine. I think that we all go through times when we need someone or something to remove the dead leaves and help us reach the sun. I am hoping my sunshine will find me soon and in the meantime I will do my best to shine for others who might need a hand. There is something wonderful ahead for all of us and in all situations, we just need to clear the way so that we can find it and it can find us! Happy Spring!
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